It's Sunday!!

I haven't sent you an email in a while but I've been writing! Oh yes, I have! I knew at the beginning of the year that I needed to write more. I needed to write more to reconnect with myself, feel fulfilled and process some shit.

But the writing I needed to do wasn't, maybe, "on brand". That's the thing when you run a business, all the creative pieces are supposed to fit together to develop a certain image, your personal brand.

I've been wrestling with this personal brand for over a decade now. Sometimes it feels fun, but other times it feels restrictive. I realized it was cramping my creative flow.

And then I read Hysterical by Elissa Bassist, which, if you read my last email or watch my reels on Insta, you know that I LOVE THIS BOOK AND THIS AUTHOR. The book is funny and smart, and feminist AF.

That's the kind of book I want to write, on brand or not.

So I started writing what I want, only what I want. And what's shaping up? Well.... it's a juicy one....

I'm writing about dating, sex, men and being a single middle-aged feminist on Tinder. I think it's funny and poignant and awesome... but I might be biased ;)

The goal is a full-length memoir that some big publisher will pay me lots of money for and maybe it'll get made into a movie too. A girl's gotta dream...

So, do you want to read a little of it?? I thought you might!

It's all still first draft mode but this is a fun snippet (remember, it's supposed to be funny, well, tragi-comedy actually):

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It’s harder dating after covid. The country has been divided and plenty of handsome men support ideals I just can’t get behind. I’m not a binary thinker on the topic of covid and vaccinations, as I’m not on gender (you may notice, seeing life through the binaries just isn’t my thing). I have many friends who took a different approach to the pandemic, and I don’t want to lose important people because we think and feel differently on one specific topic. But these are the folks who are also not so binary in their thinking, and no one’s changed their political party.

But the handsome men have. Once tolerable centrists, they’ve now taken massive steps to the right landing in extremist territory.

Or at least this is what I fear. I fear arguments and divisiveness. It seems to be the way these days.

There was one man I actually kicked out of my house, on Valentine’s Day last year. It was just our second date. He had come over with an elaborate dinner for us that was absolutely scrumptious - braised beef short ribs in a red wine reduction, with mashed potatoes, haricots verts with peach and pancetta, and homemade GF chocolate cake. Most of our conversation had been excellent up to that point, in text and during our coffee date. He was a professor and neurodivergent, my kind of guy.

Also the kind of guy that can really rub you the wrong way if a disagreement erupts.

So there we are, enjoying our delicious short ribs, and the conversation shifts to gender dynamics… he says a few things off the bat that irk me but most men do. They all need some serious education on the feminist front. But then he says, “if women had the brains, passion and ingenuity to invent, there would be more contributions from women.”

I mention the thousands of years of oppression through patriarchy…

We argued for a few minutes. He held firm in his belief that women haven’t succeeded like men because of their innate lack of ability and drive. He denies patriarchy, calls it the natural order. I started to feel sick. I got up from the table and walked upstairs, went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet.

What am I going to do? Am I going to ask this guy to leave? That’s what I want to do. I do NOT want to continue this conversation or this date. I am NOT interested in this man. Ok, I can do it, I can tell him to leave. I don’t think he’ll get angry. I hope he doesn’t get angry.

I go back downstairs, walk into the kitchen and look at him, “I would like you to pack up and leave now, please.”

I love the steadiness in my voice. I love that I didn’t start the sentence with “I think”. I love my clarity.

He is clearly upset but respectful. He packs up quickly, the makings of this elaborate meal he spent all day cooking. He even leaves the leftovers for me. For a moment I feel guilty but I quickly dismiss it. This is part of my activism, I do not tolerate men who aren’t feminists.

How could I ever date you if you don’t think I’m passionate, smart or ingenious enough to create on par with men?

I sent him a kind and respectful text about an hour later. He doesn’t respond. The match on Tinder disappears. And he becomes just one of my stories. The one about the brilliant autistic professor who doesn’t think women have what it takes to excel, and got a swift kick out on Valentine's day.

No mercy.

Yep, I knew that date would end up in a book one day lol!

So there's your sneak peek of what I've been writing lately. It's a LOT of fun to write! I find myself laughing out loud while I type. It's such a joy while also being incredibly therapeutic. I'm healing my heart with this one.

And if you're writing, or wanting to write, come hang out in Writing Vibes, my free Facebook group! There are mini journaling workshops in there every Friday, writing shares on Wednesdays, and writing chit-chat the rest of the time. I'm going to go over there right now and post a little writing humour...

Take care and keep writing,

Parrish

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