enoughness in a too much world
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Hi Reader, Writing has been challenging lately. I feel too much. I open socials and the devastating state of the world is right there on display, for us all to watch and grieve. I look around my house at the mess, the endless to-do list, the ongoing needs of a family where everyone is living with a chronic illness, and I feel like it’s impossible for anything to be different, for it to ever be easier. I feel the weight of being a mother and global citizen at this time, and the further burden of being my mother’s primary support person as her health declines. It’s too much and every time I sit down to write, words of despair fall from my fingertips. Yes, there are moments when I can keep the kitchen relatively clean, ignore the piles of laundry and feel grateful my mom has wonderful friends. Last night, snuggled up in my bed with my 11 year old, I told him that I believe he chose me to be his mom, that he loved me before his soul ever entered my body. He smiled sweetly/slyly and snuggled closer, certain he had finally won our ongoing debate of who loves who more. The sun shines and flowers bloom on my window sill. Love shows up. In glimmers. In moments. We notice. We try to string them together. We are doing our best. The streets of America filled with passion and determination over the weekend, a sign that maybe all this mess will thrust us in the right direction. I write my local Liberal candidate and encourage her to endorse the Vote Palestine platform. Community members tell me they have too. Maybe we’re growing as a society. I know I’m growing as a human. Finding more space in my heart, more magic in the mundane. Always learning more, always looking deeper. But I wish I had all the answers. The phrase “there’s nothing I can do” has been uncomfortably common in my language lately. I like having answers. I like plans and certainty. I like feeling in control. But when can I do but practice surrender? Practice trust. Faith. I remind myself that if I continue to do my best, that is enough. I am enough. We are enough. We are doing our best. In surrender I hold the vision of what’s possible. The vision of love, of peace. I hold the vision and take small, purposeful action. That’s the best plan I’ve got, and it’s enough too. Love. Action. Community. Care. We can do it. We can change the world, and nurture our little life too. Leave the dirty dishes and the laundry. There’s loving to do. That’s all I got, and it's enough. Parrish P.S. If you need designated self-care time in this mess of a world, the Spring Series of Sacred Pages is open for registration. Every workshop will be ripe with truth, emotion and heart. If life feels like too much, it can be the place you land each week to make sure you take care for yourself. |
Parrish Wilson Creative
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